Monday, December 27, 2004  

Now Playing: Let Go - Souljahz


Christmas break. At Job One. So freakin' sleepy and bored. Should write. Not gonna. Browsin' World of Warcraft message boards instead. DSL comes Friday. Can't wait.

Job Two in two hours.

Nap time is now.

   [ posted by Kristin @ 2:58 PM ] [ ]

Now Playing: Nothing right now, still gettin' the speakers set up

Following in the vein of stuff that I should be writing that I'm not...


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Warning: This fanfic is rated PGS for mild swearing and because some parts, and really the entire fanfic, tends toward excessive silliness.

Mystery Twilight Theater 6005
A continuing fanfic by Kristin Renee Taylor

Episode 3.14159265359...: "MTT6.5K"

[Setting: A small yet nicely furnished living room, complete with couch, widescreen television, and a DVD player.]

[A woman enters from the door on the right. She's tall, twenty-seven, with ash-blonde hair done up in a braid down to her waist and pale blue eyes. She's wearing cowboy boots, a denim skirt, blouse, and a denim jacket. (FINNATH ARGENT)]

[Finnath moves to the center of the room and bows to the camera.]

Finnath: Good evening, and welcome to this very special edition of "Mystery Twilight Theater 6005." I'm your host, Finnath Argent, the Bardic Wannabe.

[She turns to face a second camera.]

Finnath: Tonight, we'll be viewing a particularly lovely piece of fanfiction: the unknown and hitherto unheard of episode of the (makes hand gestures)"comedy" show Sailor Moon: The Rejected Episodes.

[She turns to face the first camera.]

Finnath: As many of you viewers are aware, the Author ran out of steam somewhere along the-

[Switch to the second camera. A beat later, Finnath spins towards it.]

Finnath: -the, um, the lines of the eighth episode, after Tsukino Usagi lost her head. I mean, once you pop a Senshi's head off, there's very little other comedic value-

[The camera switches to behind Finnath.]

Finnath(still facing the second camera): -to be, er, found. (looks around) And rather than... trudge along (glances behind her, gasps, and spins to face the camera) with the series, churning out endless, mindless drivel- not that that's ever stopped Her before, mind you- she took a brief hiatus to write a bunch of dark fics where a lot of people die. (beat) And one MST3K where a lot of people wanted to die. (beat) However-

[The camera switches to the first one, but tilted at a forty-five degree angle. Finnath spins to confront it. As soon as she does, the shot switches again. A crazy game of tag ensues, with Finnath trying to find the active camera while the shot continuously shifts around her.]

Finnath(glancing around and talking quickly): Episode Nine marks the Author's triumphant return to the series that started Her on the road to fanfic-dom.

[The shot abruptly zooms in, and we get an extreme close-up of Finnath's nose. Finnath grabs the camera and the shot goes black.]

Finnath(voice over, angry): What the heck are you doing?

Voice(female, v.o.): What's it look like? Filming you.

[Cut to the "main" camera.]

[Finnath, heavily irritated, is glaring at her cameraman, or camerawoman as the case may be. The woman holding the handheld camera is short, Japanese, with short black hair and violet eyes. She's dressed entirely in black: black t-shirt, black cargo pants, black boots, etc. (KUSANAGI ANRI)]

Finnath(irritated): Will you please just follow the script?

[Anri grins, revealing that she has short fangs. She slowly circles Finnath, shooting her with the camera.]

Anri: How's following the script fun?

[Finnath swats at Anri. The shorter woman dodges backwards easily. Finnath glares at her.]

Finnath: This is supposed to be a serious episode, not a... a... runaway film!

[A loud rumbling noise is heard. Both women look surprised.]

Anri(grins): Speaking of runaway...

Finnath(moans): Oh, God, not that, too...

[The door bursts open and the headless body of TSUKINO USAGI comes charging through the room, pauses, and glomps onto Finnath's arm.]

Finnath(makes a futile effort to detach the body): Oh, no you don't! This is my series now, you headless mutant. Go aw-

Voices(shouts): THERE SHE IS!

[Finnath glances at the door, and wails in dismay.]

[Pretty much the entire current cast of "Sailor Moon: The Rejected Episodes" is crammed into the doorway, struggling frantically to be the first into the room. Limbs flail madly.]

Voices(shouts): GET HER!

[With a sudden heave, the cast charges out the door and into the room and tackles Finnath and the Body. Anri circles the pile of bodies, chortling madly and filming.]

Anri: Now, *this* is comedy!

[Chibi-Usa scrambles to the top of the pile. She spots Anri and tacklehugs her. Anri grunts as she connects, but doesn't go down, shifting instead so that she's supporting the girl on her hip.]

Chibi-Usa(happy): Anri-oneesan!

Anri(grins and returns the hug): Heya, squirt. Ready for the main event?

Chibi-Usa(nods): Yeah!

Anri: Okay, get ready!

[She lowers Chibi-Usa to the floor. They assume "The Pose." (Y'know. THE Pose.)]

Anri: Sailor Moon: The Rejected Episodes, Season 2--

Chibi-Usa: Coming soon to a theater near you!

[They both point to the "main" camera.]

Both: Ready? START!

[Fade out!]













Finnath(v.o., laughs): You actually did THE Pose? HAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Anri(v.o., irritated): Shut up, bard.

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Fading out, indeed....

   [ posted by Kristin @ 5:47 PM ] [ ]